Is Anyone Else Running on Fumes as We Approach the End of the Year? Because I Am.

Let’s talk about burnout, boundaries, and why so many of us feel like we’re holding it all together with duct tape. Truthfully, that’s where I am right now, and I know I’m not alone.

If you’re juggling work deadlines, family obligations, holiday chaos, and trying to wrap up the year “strong,” this is for you. It’s time to stop running on empty, reclaim your energy, and set yourself up for a life and career that don’t drain you.

Burnout Is Not Your Fault

Let’s be real: burnout isn’t about you being lazy, unmotivated, or not good enough. Burnout happens when the systems around us, workplace cultures, societal pressures, or even the expectations we’ve internalized, demand more than we can (or should) give.

For Black women and women of color especially, the weight is heavy. We’re often the first, the only, or the one who has to hold it all together. Add to that the constant push to work twice as hard just to be seen, and it’s no wonder so many of us feel like we’re running on fumes.

Here’s the truth: we weren’t built to run on empty. But the pressure to keep going? It’s real.

The Marathon You Didn’t Train For

For me, the end of the year always feels like the final stretch of a marathon I didn’t even train for:

• Deadlines: Work projects piling up before the holidays.
• Holiday planning: Trying to make everything magical for everyone else.
• Family obligations: Showing up, supporting, and giving when you’re already drained.
• Trying to end the year “strong”: Pushing through like there’s a gold medal for exhaustion.

If you’re barely holding it together, you’re not alone. And you’re not failing, this system wasn’t built for us to thrive.

Unseen Labor: The Load We Carry

Let’s talk about the invisible work so many of us carry, especially during the holidays.

• The Party Planner: You’re organizing the family gatherings, cooking for an army, and ensuring everyone has a good time.
• The Host: Your house is spotless, beds are made, and you’re on call to meet everyone’s needs.
• The Family Therapist: Mediation, advice, emotional support—you do it all.
• The Overachiever at Work: Meeting deadlines, finishing projects, and proving (again) why you deserve to be in the room.

And the wildest part? Most of this labor goes unnoticed. You’re balancing ten different roles, but people only see the final result—not the hours, energy, and stress it takes to get there.

Black women often feel the need to be the backbone of everything—at work, at home, and even in our communities. But sis, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

How Do You Know You’re Burned Out?

Maybe you already know you’re burned out, or maybe you’re on the edge of it. Here’s how it often shows up:

• Exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix. Even after a full night’s rest, you still feel drained.
• Feeling detached or “over it.” Work, family, life, it all feels like too much.
• Going through the motions. You’re doing all the things, but none of it feels meaningful.
• Irritability and cynicism. You snap more often, and your patience is paper-thin.

Sound familiar? Same here. The good news is, burnout doesn’t have to be permanent.

Breaking Free and Reclaiming Your Energy 

Step 1:  Start with Boundaries (They are Self-Care in Action)

Let’s talk about boundaries, sis, because too many of us are out here giving from an empty cup. We can’t pour into others if we’re completely drained, and saying “no” can be one of the most empowering acts of self-care. Say no to extra projects, no to overextending yourself, and no to anything that doesn’t serve your peace.

Here’s how you can start:

• Say no to what doesn’t serve you. Extra projects at work? Social obligations you dread? It’s okay to decline.
• Protect your time like it’s sacred. Even if it’s just 30 minutes for yourself, block it off and honor it.
• Let go of perfectionism. The idea that everything has to be “just right” is exhausting and unnecessary.

Action Steps:

• Block your calendar: Schedule “do not disturb” time for yourself, even if it’s just 30 minutes a day.
• Delegate tasks: Let someone else handle the grocery shopping, wrapping gifts, or planning the potluck.
• Practice saying no: Start small and remind yourself it’s okay to prioritize you.

Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re survival. They’re how you protect your peace, your energy, and your progress.

Step 2:Prioritize What Really Matters

Not everything is urgent, even if it feels that way. At work and at home, try this:

• What must get done this year? Identify your non-negotiables.
• What can wait? Some tasks can roll over to January (and that’s okay).
• What can you delegate? Whether it’s asking your boss for support or enlisting family members to help at home, share the load.

Action Steps:

• Make a list: Divide tasks into three categories, must do, can wait, and delegate.
• Ditch perfectionism: The cookies don’t have to be homemade, and the decorations don’t need to be Pinterest-perfect.
• Simplify: Focus on the traditions and tasks that bring you joy, not stress.

Challenge yourself to take one thing off your plate today, just one. It can make all the difference.

Step 3: Build in Real Rest Into Your Routine

Sis, let me remind you: rest isn’t something you earn. It’s your right. And yet, so many of us feel guilty about it.

Here’s how to start prioritizing rest:

• Schedule it. Whether it’s 15 minutes to read or a full afternoon off, block out time for yourself and treat it like a non-negotiable meeting.
• Take intentional breaks. Step away from your desk. Take a walk. Close your eyes for a few minutes. Recharge.
• Give yourself grace. You don’t have to be at 100% all the time. Sometimes, 50% is enough.

Action Steps:

• Schedule downtime: Block out time on your calendar for a nap, a walk, or just sitting still.
• Take breaks: Set a timer to remind yourself to step away from your desk or the holiday chaos.
• Unplug: Turn off your phone, close the laptop, and give yourself permission to fully disconnect.

Step 4: Reflect to Reclaim Your Energy

Burnout often feels worse when we’re out of alignment. Taking time to reflect can help you get clear on what’s working and what’s not.

Ask yourself:

• What’s draining me? What tasks, people, or habits leave me feeling depleted?
• What’s energizing me? Who or what lights me up?
• What do I want more (or less) of in 2025?

Reflection isn’t just about surviving—it’s about creating a life where you can thrive.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

• What’s draining me right now?
• What’s giving me energy?
• What do I want more of in 2024?

Step 5: Lean on Your Community

Listen, you don’t have to do it all alone. Building (or leaning into) your community is a game-changer:

• Find allies at work. Look for colleagues who can collaborate and share the load.
• Connect with like-minded women. Surround yourself with people who get it, whether it’s a group chat, a monthly meetup, or a professional network.
• Ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.

If you don’t see the community you need, sis, create it.

Community: The Support System You Deserve

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to do this alone. One of the most powerful ways to combat burnout is through connection.

That’s why I’m starting a community for us, Black and Brown women who want to design intentional careers and live life on their own terms.

In this space, we’ll have:

• Facilitated discussions: Deep, meaningful conversations on topics that matter.
• Peer support circles: A chance to share, connect, and lift each other up.
• Accountability partners: Because sometimes, we need someone to remind us of our own magic.
• Actionable takeaways: You’ll leave every session with steps to move forward.

This community will be a place to recharge, reflect, and grow, together. If this sounds like what you’ve been waiting for, sign up here to be the first to know when it launches.

Resources to Help You Reset and Recharge

Books to Build Your Boundaries

• Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey

Podcasts to Keep You Grounded

• Balanced Black Girl by Lestraundra Alfred
• Therapy for Black Girls by Dr. Joy Harden Bradford

Mindfulness Apps

• Calm
• Headspace

Journaling Prompts

• What’s one thing I can let go of today?
• What would it feel like to put myself first?
• What’s one way I can create more joy this week?